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Archive for April, 2009

Dames and Dolls

Posted by blitzdames on April 28, 2009

And here are the thoughts of the Birmingham Blitz Dames’ Diamondback Belle, on our most recent home bout Dollhouse Devastation

Wow! What a fantastic bout on Saturday 18th April. First and foremost, I and everyone in the Blitz Dames want to thank Leeds Roller Dolls for being such fantastic girls, on and off the track. Leeds are definitely going to be a league to watch out for!

They gave us a really good game, but BBDD’s experience in bouting interleague pulled them ahead of the pack. Our girls love to play Derby, as hard and as often as we can!

We had a great crowd – Derby girls from up and down the country game along and gave Leeds sterling support, while we received much love, hollering and stomping from our regular home supporters (and we may have even recruited some Death Metal Jeerleaders – watch this space!).

The first jam showed straight away how close a game this was going to be, with Gun Bunny (BBDD) and Rushin’ Doll (LRD) both speeding to the front of the pack, with neither quite able to break through. Rushin’ was sent flying off the track first – apparently by one of her own blockers – with Bunny quick to join her on the side.. Both girls were fast back on their skates, but Bunny took lead jammer… this time.

Second up was our newest Jammer – Kiki Kasplat – against LRD’s guest skater (AARG), Candy Savage (definitely a girl to look out for on the track). Candy powered through the back, only to be held back by a strong wall from BBDD’s Union Jack-U-Up and Saintly Sin. She broke through and took lead jammer, scoring points for LRD.

The first half was neck and neck with first the Dames, then Leeds, then the Dames pulling ahead. It was also definitely eventful as our own jammer Kiki Kasplat received a double block from the Leeds defence that put her in the hospital! Get Well Soon to our Keeks, who split open her appendix scar in the name of Derby – ouch!

With Kiki off the track, Twink T was doing some amazing skating and quickly caught up with the pack second time round, but couldn’t get beyond BBDD’s Victoria Cross’ fine Derby ass and brilliant positional blocking, forcing Twink to call off the jam.

At the end of the first half it could have gone either way with the scores at 51 to the Home team and 44 to Leeds Roller Dolls.

The start of the second half saw BBDD Jammer Gun Bunny nip right through to the front of the pack as our own Bee Sting blocked LRD Jammer, Twink T into the ref not once, but twice! It’s a dangerous job, reffing these roller girls!

Then there was a Derby pile-up on the track as BBDD’s Union Jack-U-Up wiped out the Leeds jammer, Candy Savage and took three Leeds blockers AND our own Gun Bunny with her. Bunny looked out for the count as trackside paramedics shone a light into her eyes but, although she was off for the next three jams, we’re glad to say she was up and partying late into the night. Candy escaped with an ice pack on her ass and was quickly back on the track.

There was plenty more drama to come with Bee Sting being majored off the track for a magnificent BOOBY block! Some less than eagle-eyed observers have suggested that hands were used, but no, Bee turned around as LRD Jammer Frantic took her second lap through the pack and sent her flying with a power block straight from her Bristols.  

Now, Derby Fact Fans (and those just wondering what the hell happened!), this block would have been perfectly legal, even though Bee was facing backwards, if she had continued to move in the normal skating direction or anti-clockwise – you don’t have to be facing the right way, just skating the right way! But Bee’s failed to execute it correctly – her skates moved clockwise and so she was straight in the penalty box to appreciative cheers from the home crowd – naughty, naughty Bee!

Frantic was straight back up and breaking back through the pack but was taken out in a fantastic sweeping block from BBDD’s Roisin Roulette.

Roisin herself was up and jamming soon after, but was soon in the box, alongside BBDD Pivot, Sleazy Rider. There was a brief moment of chaos and Sleazy was ejected from the period for Gross Miscounduct. As the dust settled and the Jam was reset, we found out that Sleazy had removed her pivot helmet in the Penalty Box, which led to another BBDD pivot being put on the track. Sleazy was hollering and waving the panty, but she couldn’t make herself understood in time, so the BBDD pivot on the track was majored straight off. The refs are harsh, but they are fair and their decisions are always final, so Sleazy was out of the remainder of the period.

By this point though the Dames were powering ahead, with Union-Jack-U-Up breaking through the pack once, twice, three times in the penultimate jam before being sent off, leaving the Dames with no Jammer against the whip-fast Frantic for the start of the final jam. Frantic dived through the pack, but couldn’t get past a Helen Fury and Roulette defence at the front of the pack, leaving Union to take the lead straight out of the penalty box and bring the bout home, 141 points to LRD’s 88.  

Well, we’ve had a fantastic season so far, playing great teams and getting a lot of experience doing what we love to do best – playing Roller Derby! Our next bout is away against London Roller Girls on June 6th, then we’re back on home turf to take on the formidable Auld Reekie Roller Girls on June 20th to wrap up a fantastic, bout-iful season – see you all there!

 

Posted in B'ham Blitz Derby Dames, Bouts/Recaps, europe, Leeds Roller Dolls, United Kingdom | Leave a Comment »

Smack Attack

Posted by blitzdames on April 25, 2009

On the 21st of March 2009 the Middlesborough Milk Rollers rolled up to Cocks Moors Woods Leisure Centre, Birmingham, in the bright spring sunshine to take on Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames for Middlesborough’s first public bout. Although there was a smaller crowd than most of BBDD’s home bouts, largely due to the London based Glasgow Roller Girls/London Rockin Rollers’ bout scheduled for the same day, there was a cracking atmosphere. MMR and visiting referees received a warm welcome and were fabulous guests.

The referees were:
Head Ref: Justine Credible (BB*DD)
Jam Ref: Cain Unstable (ARRG)
Jam Ref: Scrim Reaper (BBRG)
Pack Ref: Karl Lagerfilled (RCRG)
Pack Ref: Matt the Knife (LRD)
Pack Ref: Noise Pollution (MMR)
Pack Ref: Pink A Boo (MMR)
Announcers:
Blow Up Betty and Jack Off Licence
BB*DD Line Up Manager: The Skatrix
MMR Line Up Manager: Moody Fuse

MMR Skaters:
Captain: Rita Von Sleaze #7
Co-Captain: Germaine Leer #27
Oompah Thump-Ya #410
Darcey Hustle #28
Fraulein Wunder #6
Smokin Ace #23
Eve O Lution #666
Inky Minx #81 (BBRG Guest Skater)
Tartan Tearaway #509 (ARRG Guest Skater)
Track Widow #8 Ball (BBRG Guest Skater)
Armalite Angie #30-30-150 (ARRG Guest Skater)
Ciderella #-3C (ARRG Guest Skater)
Hurricane Hayles #74mph (ARRG Guest Skater)

BB*DD Skaters:
Captain: Violet Attack # 16
Co-Captain: Union Jack-U-Up #333
Roisin Roulette #N17
Sleazy Rider #15
Hilda BlizzHard #52
Bee Sting #101
KiKi Kasplat #79
Saintly Sin #14U
Elle Fire #11
Victoria Cross #27
Gun Bunny #888
Diamondback Belle #77
Bitter Sweet #<3
Diabolus Rutilus #55
Alternate:
Talula Trash #86

Period One:
Jam One. Gun Bunny gets lead jammer, Inky Minx gets to check out the penalty box. BB*DD 4 – MMR O
Jam Two. Inky Minx comes out of the penalty box to gain lead jammer status before KiKi Kasplat can get through, despite a lovely whip offered to the Birmingham jammer by Victoria Cross. BB*DD 15 – MMR 6
Jam Three. Sleazy Rider beats Oompah Thump-Ya to lead jammer. BB*DD 18 – MMR 7
Jam Four. A great jam for Violet Attack, the only jammer to pass through the pack. BB*DD 27 – MMR 7
Jam Five. Hilda Blizzhard is beaten to lead jammer by Fraulein Wunder. BB*DD 30 – MMR 1O
Jam Six. Neither Oompah Thump-Ya nor Gun Bunny make it through without penalties, and Bunny is sent to the penalty box. BB*DD 36 – MMR 18
Jam Seven. Gun Bunny starts in the box, Ciderella ends up in it. BB*DD 39 – MMR 18
Jam Eight. Attack’s second turn as jammer. BB*DD 48 – MMR 18
Jam Nine. Blizzhard vs. Thump-Ya. BB*DD 54 – MMR 22
Jam Ten. Gun Bunny beats Inky Minx to lead jammer, Union Jack-U-Up offers Violet a whip and there is cold, ruthless blocking from Roisin. BB*DD 57 – MMR 22
Jam Eleven. Ciderella beats KiKi Kasplat to lead jammer. BB*DD 60 – MMR 41
Jam Twelve. Sleazy Rider takes lead jammer ahead of Germaine Leer, who ends up in the penalty box. BB*DD 63 – MMR 41
Jam Thirteen. Germaine Leer remains the MMR jammer from the box and rejoins Violet Attack on the track, but neither make it to lead jammer. BB*DD 72 – MMR 41
Jam Fourteen. Hilda Blizzhard is lead jammer, Oompah Thump-Ya is held back. BB*DD 77 – MMR 41
Jam Fifteen. Gun Bunny gets lead jammer, and this time the pack prevents Germaine Leer from getting through. BB*DD 83 – MMR 41
Jam Sixteen. Union Jack-U-Up gets through first to get three points as lead jammer, but Rita Von Sleaze gets four. Half time score: BB*DD 86 – MMR 45

Period Two
Jam One. Gun Bunny is the first lead jammer of the second period. Oompa Thump Ya comes crashing off the track, through a table and into Noise Pollution. BB*DD 92 – MMR 45
Jam Two. KiKi Kasplat skates furiously focused but Inky Minx slips through. BlizzHard gets majored. BB*DD 95 – MMR 48
Jam Three. Fraulein Wunder slides through the pack and into lead jammer, but Sleazy Rider’s right on her tail. BB*DD 99 – MMR 51
Jam Four. Hilda BlizzHard is still in the penalty box. The pack is loose and no one is awarded lead jammer status. An excellent jam for Violet Attack who gains 19 legal passes. BB*DD 118 – MMR 51
Jam Five. Jammer Hilda BlizzHard and Roisin Roulette are sent off. Ciderella takes lead jammer and five points. BB*DD 118 – MMR 56
Jam Six. Violet Attack seems to be holding off the MMR insurgence single handed, or solo behinded, as she positions herself in front of everyone. Blizzhard gets six points on her return. BB*DD 124 – MMR 57
Jam Seven. Sees a pile up and OSMS rushing on to ensure everyone’s in one piece. Smokin Ace goes down with a dislocated shoulder and everyone drops to one knee hoping her injuries aren’t serious. Roisin’s tenure as lead jammer is short lived. BB*DD 125 – MMR 57
Jam Eight. Gun Bunny is knocked flying and Kiki is sent off. BB*DD 136 – MMR 59
Jam Nine. Fraulein Wunder makes hearty attempts to keep up, but Hilda BlizzHard is just too fast, determined and powerful. Diabolus Rutilus and Elle Fire show their skills as they glide effortlessly through the pack to be where they want to be. BB*DD 138 – MMR 61
Jam Ten. Hilda BlizzHard jolts through the pack like a pinball, taking lead jammer as the pack prevents Fraulein Wunder’s progress. And with twelve and a half minutes to go, the score is BB*DD 146 – MMR 61
Jam Eleven. A great jam for lead jammer KiKi Kasplat who slides through the pack, with Elle Fire attentively distracting the MMR pack, to pull Birmingham more than one hundred points ahead of Middlesborough. BB*DD 160 – MMR 61
Jam Twelve. Sleazy loses lead jammer to Armalite Angie. BB*DD 161- MMR 64
Jam Thirteen. Oompah Thump-Ya storms through the pack, beating Gun Bunny to lead jammer, but she is then sent to the box. Bitter Sweet and Bunny tangle up, and Bunny is later helped off the track by the medics. BB*DD 161 – MMR 72
Jam Fourteen. With Oompah Thump-Ya still in the box, Union Jack-U-Up storms into her finest moment. Again and again she whips round the track, slicing through the MMR pack like a hot knife slides through butter, racking up a whopping 26 points. Diabolus Rutilus shows her steel, absorbing a fierce blow from Germaine Leer. BB*DD 187 – MMR 72
Jam Fifteen. There can’t be much more now. Hilda BlizzHard waits for the second whistle with Fraulein Wunder again at her side, as Bee Sting‘s booty manipulates the pack. The Blitz Dames have clearly won the bout, but by how much, what have the Milk Rollers got to show in the final minutes? The Middlesborough jammer gets through first, showing the northerners’ spirit, it ain’t over yet, Birmingham! Middlesborough are still fighting. But BlizzHard is just too tough and scores seven to Wunder’s three. It’s BB*DD 194 – MMR 75
Jam Sixteen. With about half a minute left on the clock, the final ten on the track know this is it! Roisin Roulette and Ciderella are the last two skaters to jam. And though they must all be exhausted after an hour’s furious skating, the enthusiasm and determination remains undiminished. BB*DD 198 – MMR 78

We MMRemember, The Blitz Dames speak:

Roisin Roulette: “Bitter Sweet taking a hit, getting back up and catching the pack to try and knock Armalite Angie over (you have to admire her ambition! first bout and all …..) “

Victoria Cross: “Angie coming on to jam like a steam locomotive with everyone from both teams fighting to get out of her way!”

Roisin Roulette: “Diabolus Rutilus wanting to skate every jam…Kiki really making her mark as a jammer and also getting in some good hits”

Blow Up Betty: “Watching Roulette, Kasplat and Sleazy break up wall after wall with
fierce fearlessness had me in awe for the match.”

The Skatrix: “Diabolus made a fearsome blocker 4!”

Roisin Roulette: “Blizzhard, Sin and Elle Fire clearing the MMR blockers off the inside line towards the front of the pack, Diamondback and VC and Bee in the thick of it, UJ and Sleazy all over the track, hitting at the back and then
getting in front of the MMR jammer when she thought she was through; it was
a lovely bout to jam in.”

Blow Up Betty: “Their little jammers Ooompa Thumpa and Ciderella both did a great job at getting up again and again after getting trampled by the dames defence.”

Roisin Roulette: “U-J’s look of baffled innocence when Germaine Leer said she’d elbowed her in the face (like how would she reach that high anyway?)”

Saintly Sin: “There we are, standing around, the air around us electrified and Skatrix tells us to get on the bench and the positions we are to play. “Kiki-pivot, Diamondback-2, Sin-3,UJ(?)-4, Roisin-jamming.” We park our backsides on the bench, quivering in excitement and Kiki turns to me “Wow, I’ve never been in the last jam before” It dawns on me then, oh my, this is it, this is gonna be the last jam, this is just the glory jam, we won it already, this will be fun.
Elle Fire turns to everyone and says “It is, it’s the last one, this is it. Shall we just batter them? Let’s just destroy them. Free for all dames, knock them down”. We all agree, we are just gonna have some fun with this and just do as much bashing as possible.
The whistle blows. Skatrix tells us to get on the track. We skate on, focused, and ready for some fun. We line up, a milk roller stands next to me and smiles, I grin back, she knows what’s coming. The pack whistle is blown, we start to skate, we’re partway round the track and I see white, blue and pink roll up next to me, is she a jammer? A pivot? A blocker? Quite frankly I don’t care, she is a Milk Roller and for now, she is the opposition so BANG and she is on the floor, oh yes, she is down, I make a fist for a personal little celebration of my take down and across he PA I hear Jack “Saintly Sin is celebrating her take down” thanks Jack.
As the Milk Rollers went down, our Roisin just slipped through the pack with ease, that’s our Roisin, jammer extraordinaire. Time ends and the final whistle blows with Roisin managing to bring the score to an amazing 198 to the Dames. We have done it, Middleborough Milk Rollers 78, Blitz Dames 198. It’s time for the victory lap, so many high fives, so many smiling faces from both the crowd and the amazing Middleborough girls. What a fantastic bunch and what a pleasure to skate with.
Party time, and even before my skates are off, a pina colada appears in my hand*…”

Roisin Roulette: “Bee scaring the MMR girls, UJ knocking ’em down, Blizzhard a quick and strong pivot and tireless jammer, Attack getting sent off at the start,
then getting into her groove and cutting through the pack with her usual incisive skating but taking responsibility as captain to pivot and let the new jammers have a go.”

The Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames loved hosting the Middlesborough Milk Rollers and can’t wait for the rematch!

*although, of course, Ms Saintly Sin didn’t DRINK it until she had removed her skates. Blitzdames follow the rules TO THE LETTER!

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Canada- Beast of the East

Posted by hooligal on April 3, 2009

It’s coming…Hosted by Montreal Roller Derby 16 Eastern North American teams battle it out for the coveted Beast of The East title and bragging rights.

Hamilton Harlots from Hammercity Rollergirls won it last year, can they take the prize again? Will Ottawa have to bout Ottawa? Will someone walk away with the Steam Roller (afterparty game, its like derby but on the floor) championship title?

There’s only one way to find out.

April (Avril for you frenchies) 25-26th in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. Get your tickets in advance here.

Posted in canada, events, Forest City Derby Girls, Hammercity Rollergirls, montreal roller derby, Ottawa Roller Derby, Toronto Roller Derby, Tri-City Roller Girls | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Spring Equi-KNOCKS review

Posted by hooligal on April 2, 2009

rockin-rollers-poster2smallMarch 21st saw the London Rockin Rollers, after FINALLY securing a venue in London, play their first home game against Glasgow Rollergirls Irn Bruisers. Much hard work went into making the bout a night to remember, with lights, a halftime surfcore band Jimmy and the Destroyers, rolling merch girls, kickin DJ Chris Setzer and of course…ROLLER DERBY!

The crowd came out en masse, we sold out to capacity and had to turn people away at the door. The venue was alive and buzzing and after pouring some coke on our slippy wood floor, we were ready to play!

Both teams had not played each other, and had not seen each other play in a very long time. We both went in blind to the other teams strengths and weaknesses, and both teams were certain they would win (arn’t they always?!).

Glasgow turned out to be a highly defensive team of hard hitters, while our jammers are fast and wiley, the hits of their blockers were a shock to the system early in the game. It seemed to be a battle of defence vs offence, and our

Jammers neck and neck (photo by Spida-X)

Jammers neck and neck (photo by Spida-X)

girls quickly learned to distract the glasgow blockers as our jammer came through. Unfourtuetly for us, their jammer tended to follow ours through the pack!

Glasgow secured an early lead, staying at least 10 points ahead for most of the game. It was tough and bodies were flying. A scary moment in the first period when Switchblade Sarah went down on her face and didn’t get up.

Medics rushed on as the jam was called off, and we were all frightened for her. But she got up soon to the roar of the worried crowd, and after a good rest, went on to play a fantastic game!

Halftime came for a much needed break and as the band came on the score was GRG 60 LRR 46.

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Glasgow Jammer Goes Down (Photo by Spida-X)

Second half brought the LRR back with new vengence and determination to win the game. First jams saw us close the gap to 62 to 56 and keep the points close for many jams to follow. But GRG were determined to hold onto their advantage, and went on to win the game 106 to 83.

Like most derby matches, the best part was the lovely girls of the visiting team who were overjoyed with the medals and gift bags, and glad to have had such a great time and a great crowd. No grudges held, we all went to the after party for a much needed drink and to compare bruises. A great day for all!

Posted in Bouts/Recaps, Glasgow Roller Girls, London Rockin Rollers, United Kingdom | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Holy Shit – Abu Dhabi Roller Derby

Posted by hooligal on April 1, 2009

You know when derby has gone truely international when you have too look up the country of a new roller derby league. In its infancy, we have the first middle eastern roller derby league – Abu Dhabi Roller Derby!! If you’re poor on your geography, go ahead and look it up on google maps, you’ll be as pleased as I was!

This means I have to start another continent catagory, a first for Inter Derby!!

One step closer to world domination!!!!

Add them up on facebook and help these ladies out!

Facebook | Abu Dhabi Roller Derby.

Posted in Announcements, Middle East | Leave a Comment »