And here are the thoughts of the Birmingham Blitz Dames’ Diamondback Belle, on our most recent home bout Dollhouse Devastation.
Wow! What a fantastic bout on Saturday 18th April. First and foremost, I and everyone in the Blitz Dames want to thank Leeds Roller Dolls for being such fantastic girls, on and off the track. Leeds are definitely going to be a league to watch out for!
They gave us a really good game, but BBDD’s experience in bouting interleague pulled them ahead of the pack. Our girls love to play Derby, as hard and as often as we can!
We had a great crowd – Derby girls from up and down the country game along and gave Leeds sterling support, while we received much love, hollering and stomping from our regular home supporters (and we may have even recruited some Death Metal Jeerleaders – watch this space!).
The first jam showed straight away how close a game this was going to be, with Gun Bunny (BBDD) and Rushin’ Doll (LRD) both speeding to the front of the pack, with neither quite able to break through. Rushin’ was sent flying off the track first – apparently by one of her own blockers – with Bunny quick to join her on the side.. Both girls were fast back on their skates, but Bunny took lead jammer… this time.
Second up was our newest Jammer – Kiki Kasplat – against LRD’s guest skater (AARG), Candy Savage (definitely a girl to look out for on the track). Candy powered through the back, only to be held back by a strong wall from BBDD’s Union Jack-U-Up and Saintly Sin. She broke through and took lead jammer, scoring points for LRD.
The first half was neck and neck with first the Dames, then Leeds, then the Dames pulling ahead. It was also definitely eventful as our own jammer Kiki Kasplat received a double block from the Leeds defence that put her in the hospital! Get Well Soon to our Keeks, who split open her appendix scar in the name of Derby – ouch!
With Kiki off the track, Twink T was doing some amazing skating and quickly caught up with the pack second time round, but couldn’t get beyond BBDD’s Victoria Cross’ fine Derby ass and brilliant positional blocking, forcing Twink to call off the jam.
At the end of the first half it could have gone either way with the scores at 51 to the Home team and 44 to Leeds Roller Dolls.
The start of the second half saw BBDD Jammer Gun Bunny nip right through to the front of the pack as our own Bee Sting blocked LRD Jammer, Twink T into the ref not once, but twice! It’s a dangerous job, reffing these roller girls!
Then there was a Derby pile-up on the track as BBDD’s Union Jack-U-Up wiped out the Leeds jammer, Candy Savage and took three Leeds blockers AND our own Gun Bunny with her. Bunny looked out for the count as trackside paramedics shone a light into her eyes but, although she was off for the next three jams, we’re glad to say she was up and partying late into the night. Candy escaped with an ice pack on her ass and was quickly back on the track.
There was plenty more drama to come with Bee Sting being majored off the track for a magnificent BOOBY block! Some less than eagle-eyed observers have suggested that hands were used, but no, Bee turned around as LRD Jammer Frantic took her second lap through the pack and sent her flying with a power block straight from her Bristols.
Now, Derby Fact Fans (and those just wondering what the hell happened!), this block would have been perfectly legal, even though Bee was facing backwards, if she had continued to move in the normal skating direction or anti-clockwise – you don’t have to be facing the right way, just skating the right way! But Bee’s failed to execute it correctly – her skates moved clockwise and so she was straight in the penalty box to appreciative cheers from the home crowd – naughty, naughty Bee!
Frantic was straight back up and breaking back through the pack but was taken out in a fantastic sweeping block from BBDD’s Roisin Roulette.
Roisin herself was up and jamming soon after, but was soon in the box, alongside BBDD Pivot, Sleazy Rider. There was a brief moment of chaos and Sleazy was ejected from the period for Gross Miscounduct. As the dust settled and the Jam was reset, we found out that Sleazy had removed her pivot helmet in the Penalty Box, which led to another BBDD pivot being put on the track. Sleazy was hollering and waving the panty, but she couldn’t make herself understood in time, so the BBDD pivot on the track was majored straight off. The refs are harsh, but they are fair and their decisions are always final, so Sleazy was out of the remainder of the period.
By this point though the Dames were powering ahead, with Union-Jack-U-Up breaking through the pack once, twice, three times in the penultimate jam before being sent off, leaving the Dames with no Jammer against the whip-fast Frantic for the start of the final jam. Frantic dived through the pack, but couldn’t get past a Helen Fury and Roulette defence at the front of the pack, leaving Union to take the lead straight out of the penalty box and bring the bout home, 141 points to LRD’s 88.
Well, we’ve had a fantastic season so far, playing great teams and getting a lot of experience doing what we love to do best – playing Roller Derby! Our next bout is away against London Roller Girls on June 6th, then we’re back on home turf to take on the formidable Auld Reekie Roller Girls on June 20th to wrap up a fantastic, bout-iful season – see you all there!